The other day I was in the bathroom and out of the corner of my eye, I saw this blurry ginormous unidentified black blob on the floor. Immediately, I assumed it was the hair of some murderous horror film child who was lying down as she waited for the perfect moment to kill me. I was afraid to confirm my suspicions by turning my head to fully view this unidentified black blob.
It turns out that the murderous child’s hair was actually just my lazy sister’s boot. I’m pretty impressed by my brain’s creativity. Good job scaring the crap out of me, Brain! Why can’t my brain be creative in helpful ways? Terrible thoughts aren’t good for my sanity! I’m pretty sure that if I were in a life or death situation, my brain wouldn’t try to help me survive…it would just accept and imagine my death.